


autoerotic

by awfuloffal



Category: Monster High
Genre: Autoerotic Asphyxiation, Dom/sub Undertones, LOL literally, M/M, Masturbation, Mildly Dubious Consent, Mindfuck, Mirror Sex, NOTE: they do NOT refer to each other as brothers, Nipple Play, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Selfcest, Sex Toys, Sharing a Body, Telepathic Sex, Under-negotiated Kink, Verbal Humiliation, this is weird be warned, tw: holt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-24 16:48:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30075291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awfuloffal/pseuds/awfuloffal
Summary: autoerotic: relating to sexual excitement generated by stimulating or fantasizing about one's own body.Jackson and Holt know each other inside and out, and not by choice. Two teenage boys with such different personalities being forced together makes for a minefield of hormones, humiliation, and heat.
Relationships: Holt Hyde/Jackson Jekyll
Comments: 8
Kudos: 23





	autoerotic

**Author's Note:**

> hey... its me again hahah
> 
> restating the tag but!! they do not consider themselves brothers in this fic they’re just two guys. 
> 
> so uh, notes: the italics are the one not in control talking, which for the majority of the fic is holt so. quotations- jj, italics- hh. 
> 
> as always my jackson is nb with mild dick dysphoria which is an excuse to make him an anal addict with perky tits leggo

It’s all because of a bet.

_ You should really be studying. _ Jackson chastises him for what feels like the hundredth time that day- and it probably is.

“I’ll be fine.” Holt snarks back. “I don’t  _ need  _ to study.” 

He totally wasn’t upset that Jackson had such little faith in him. Totally not, because Holt Hyde doesn’t care what anybody thinks about him. Especially not annoying normies that should just shut up and put their mouths to better use-

Jackson doesn’t let up.  _ This test is really important Holt! If you fail- _

“I  _ won’t  _ fail.” Holt rolls his eyes at himself in the mirror. “I’ll pass with flying colors. All of the points… How many questions is it anyway? Like ten?”

_ It’s one HUNDRED Holt! _ Jackson sounds stressed, trying to flood their system with his unnecessary adrenaline. 

“Oh, pffft. I can do those easy-peasy.” Holt waves him off. 

Jackson doesn’t say anything, but Holt can feel his disapproval, spewing bad vibes into the air around him.

A wide smile splits Holt’s face. “Here, I’m willing to bet on it. When I pass, you’ll do whatever I want.”

_ All I want you to do is study.  _ Jackson whines in his head. 

“Then if I fail- which I won’t- I’ll study! Sound good to you?” Holt’s mind is already racing with possibilities of all the things he could do with Jackson, do  _ to _ Jackson.

Jackson makes a weak, whiny noise.

“I need your explicit consent Jackson.” Holt says with a casual shrug. “C’mon now.”

_ Anything you want? Could you  _ be _ more vague? _

Holt bites his lip in anticipation. “Last chance.”

_ Fine. _ Jackson spits out.

Holt grins. “Good.”

* * *

“That’s not possible.” Jackson stares down at the paper in his hands, marked up top with an undeniable  _ 100 _ in red ink. “How-?”

_ I told you!  _ Holt says triumphantly.  _ No need to study when you’re as brilliant as the Holtster! _

Jackson holds back his response. He was jealous, sure, but there was no reason to get mad. “Well- I’m glad for you Holt. Really.”

_ Don’t forget what this means Jackson. _ Holt says, a low tone in his incorporeal voice. _ You have to do whatever I want now. _

Jackson just rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. ‘I’m Jackson Jekyll and I’m a huge nerd with no friends!’ Does that satisfy you?”

Holt snorts.  _ As if. Thanks for admitting it though. _

“What do you want me to do then?”

Holt’s voice goes quiet and Jackson can sense his hesitation. 

_ Jerk off. _

“What?” Jackson asks in surprise.

_ Come on, I know you’re a virgin but you know how to touch yourself right? Unless you need me to teach you. _

“I know how to masturbate.” Jackson stammers, face flushing red. “I mean- why?”

Holt makes a huffing sound of annoyance.  _ Cause you’re a sexually repressed nerd, alright? I’m tired of having you in my head whenever I’m fucking someone, your downer attitude ruins the mood. The only chance of you getting some is with your own hand, and you’re too much of a fucking prude to do it with me around. _

“Sorry that I’m not attracted to women  _ Holt _ .” Jackson seethes through his teeth. “And as you have reminded me- multiple times!- that before I go near another guy you’d rather throw us off a cliff. So  _ excuse me  _ if I don’t get excited every time you run the risk of bringing us home with an STD!” 

_ I use condoms, jackass.  _ Holt says. Even without a physical form Jackson can see how he’s pouting.

“You gave us mono.” 

_ That’s not an STD!  _

“You’re ridiculous. This is ridiculous.” Jackson runs at his eyes under his glasses. 

_ You promised. _ Holt’s voice sends shivers of fear down Jackson’s spine. He wasn’t scared of his other half- most of the time. But Holt still had the capacity to hurt him, and Jackson would be a fool to ignore it. He often woke up with phantom pains, fingertips prickling with the remnants of magic.

“Okay, okay. I’m… doing it.” Jackson takes a breath, and pulls down his pants, already regretting this. But he never could say no to Holt.

_ Sit down on the edge of the bed.  _ Holt’s voice is tight with anticipation, trying to hide it under his uncaring bravado. 

“Why does that matter?” Jackson sighs, but follows his directions. He’s staring at himself in their full body mirror, looking like an absolute fool with his pants around his knees. “I’m not looking at myself while I do this. Narcissism is your thing.”

_ I want to watch you. And I can only see what you see, so keep your eyes open.  _

Jackson blushes and looks away out of instinct. He hates looking at himself on a usual day, never mind during  _ this _ . And having Holt in the background, watching his every move, no doubt judging. There’s no way to jerk off wrong, right?

Oh who cares, he’ll fuck it up in some way that will have Holt laughing at him. He’s already had front row seats to every other mortifying ordeal of Jackson’s life, now he’s going to worm himself into this too.

Jackson takes a deep breath to focus his nerves. He keeps his eyes focused on his reflection, in a staring contest with himself as he spits in the palm of his hand and grabs his cock. He’s not aroused in the slightest but he starts stroking himself anyway. He just has to make it fast as possible, get it over with.

_ Not yet _ . He can practically feel Holt’s hot breath on his neck.  _ Play with your tits. _

Jackson flushes bright red, mouth falling open in surprise. “Wha- I- don’t-“

_ You have to do whatever I say~  _ Holt’s still singing to him, even in his own head.  _ And I say it’s Mardi Gras and I have some beads for an eager bitch like you. _

Jackson presses his thighs together, as inconspicuous as possible. That was just Holt being a dick, that wasn’t… anything that should be making his cock throb in his pants. He shakily raises his hands to his chest, sliding up his shirt as he goes. His chest was normal- okay maybe his nipples were a bit more sensitive than other normies. If the fabric of his shirt was too rough he would have to put a bandage over the nubs so they would be scraped raw by the end of the day. Holt had watched him do it, seen how angry and red his chest would get after a bad day. It wasn’t a sexual thing, he just… had really sensitive nipples. It was normal.

He bit his lip as he took one nipple between his fingers, pinching it to get his blood pumping. It hurts a little, but that’s why Holt wants him to do it. Just brushing his fingers over the tender skin is enough to quicken his breath, but that’s not going to be enough for his sadistic other half. His nails bite into the sensitive skin as he pinches them, tugs at them, pleasure fogging over his mind until he forgets what he’s doing this for. All the while he has his gaze on the mirror, watching himself grow more and more lewd as his cock stirs to life. 

_ Look at you _ . Holt sounds amazed.  _ All worked up just by playing with your chest _ .

“Shut up.” Jackson spits out. One of his hands slips between his legs to grab his half hard cock in his hand, stroking himself while his free hand wanders his chest.

He holds steady eye contact with himself as he jerks off, pleasuring overriding the embarrassment until he can start actually feeling good. His reflection in the mirror is humiliating but every time Jackson tries to look away Holt is there pushing him back. He  tries to cum as fast as possible, not caring about performance or pleasure. The pace of his fist around his cock is unforgiving and his chest aches to the point where touching his nipples only brought pain, but he’s nowhere near orgasm.

_ Poor Jackson _ . Holt mocks him.  _ Do you need some help? _

“I’m fine.” Jackson says venomously. “I’m- it’s just-

_ You can’t cum without something inside you, right? _

Jackson squeezes his eyes shut in mortification. “Stop it.”

_ You're so cute at night, Jackie.  _ Holt’s tone is teasing, and Jackson feels heat pricking his skin from the inside.  _ Play all shy and above it all in the daytime, but you spend your nights with nothing but cock on your mind.  _

Jackson feels himself start trembling, tears gathering at the corners of his eyes as Holt mocks him. This was why he hated touching himself, because Holt was relentless with his mockery and had no qualms about humiliating Jackson however he could. Jackson could only get off quietly, in the dead of night or while he was studying, whenever Holt was asleep deep in their headspace. He had gotten used to getting it done fast, fingering himself open while stroking his cock, but he liked the feeling of having his ass filled more than he did while touching himself directly. It was embarrassing cumming on his fingers alone, but Jackson had thought he was safe.

But Holt had been watching him every time. “S-shut up.” Jackson chokes out. “I don’t- I’m not-“

_ Aw, don't cry Jackie boy.  _ Holt has the decency to pretend to be nice at least.  _ I got you a present, see? Look under my bed. _

Jackson wipes his eyes but obeys, as usual. There’s a black box underneath Holt’s bed, about the size of a shoebox. It scares the shit out of him, mind running wild with all the things it could be. A device recording him talking to himself while he humiliates himself, or maybe it would reveal a phone live-streaming to all their friends. Both were very Holt. “You prepared for this?”

_ I told you I was going to pass. _ Holt thinks smugly.  _ Instead of studying I just think about the things I wanna do to you. _

Jackson shakes his head. Nothing Holt says was making any sense, and Jackson was confused and shaken and horribly horribly aroused.

He opens the box and his mouth goes dry.

It’s a cock, a large dildo lovingly nestled along some black tissue paper. There’s a post it note stuck to the inside of the box, proudly reading:  _ go fuck yourself (literally) XOXO Holt _ .

“Should I ask why this is  _ blue _ ?” Jackson holds the dildo in his hand, ignoring the way his body floods with heat he can’t blame on Holt. It’s dark blue too, cobalt and nearly identical to the shade he sees secondhand in the mirror.

Holt doesn’t answer.

“Holt.”

_ … no comment. _

Jackson sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “We’re going to have to talk about this you know.”

_ After I see you bounce on that. Get to it, slut. _

Jackson ignores him and rolls the small bottle of lube between his fingers. A special warming lubricant, and  _ definitely  _ not the cheap stuff they gave out in the nurses office to promote safe sex. Holt’s intentions were never clear. Jackson always fell victim to his practical jokes, ending up angry and embarrassed as Holt laughed at him.  He’d rather die than admit it, but it aroused him too. Holt didn’t put him down with cutting insults, always only teasing. The mocking tone of his voice made Jackson’s face flush and his heart hammer in his chest. If Holt was meaner than Jackson could just brush it off, but Holt had a way of getting under his skin and setting his nerves alight.

Yeah, they definitely were going to have to talk about this. But it can wait until after he strips his pants off, kicking them to the floor and sits back on the foot of the bed. 

_ Shirt too.  _ Holt hums.

“Oh screw you.” Jackson grumbles, stripping off his shirt anyway. “Can I at least keep my glasses on?”

Holt’s pleasure thrums through Jackson’s veins.  _ Yeah, I want you to see yourself come undone.  _

“You’re not going to get a very good angle for most of this.” Jackson says, leaning back on the bed. It’s an uncomfortable angle for his neck, but he can just barely make eye contact with the mirror. It’s an embarrassing picture, having his legs spread open and dick standing proudly in the air. 

_ Pretty enough picture for me _ . Holt is flooding his system with energy, filling Jackson with his own confidence. 

“Will you at least let me do this part this on my own?” Jackson sighs, throwing his arm over his eyes. “Why am I asking your permission?”

_ Cause you like being told what to do.  _ Holt incorporeally nudges him, a little heartbeat skip they did on the rare occasions they were on good terms. 

Jackson doesn’t respond, just cracks the seal on the bottle and coats his fingers. It warms up at his touch but Jackson still shivers as he reaches between his legs, canting his hips up for a better angle. 

_ Lemme see, lemme see pleassseee-  _

“Patience is a virtue.“

_ So is chastity.  _

Jackson snorts. “Hypocrite.” 

Jackson’s never used real lube before. Having a suspicious bottle around would be discovered by Holt eventually and Jackson wasn’t ready to be accosted by Holt about why he had anal lube around.  The warmth from the lube seeps into Jackson’s body and he relaxes his muscles, moaning softly. Propylene glycol, that's the ingredient responsible for the warming thermoreception. It also increases sensitivity, awakening nerve endings and increasing blood flow. The same ingredient is found in alcohol and Jackson certainly feels intoxicated as the heat warms him to his core. He starts slow, one slick finger pumping in and out of his ass. The warmth floods through him and it isn’t long before he’s filling his hole with more fingers, massaging his sweet spot and moaning sweetly at the pleasure. Touching himself from the front was fine, felt nice of course- but Jackson loves being filled more.

Holt’s patience is wearing thin, setting Jackson’s teeth on edge.  _ I know you’re gettin’ excited sweetheart, but remember what you have waiting for you. _

“Just… just a minute.” Jackson pants out. It was too good right now, his cock was throbbing against his stomach and leaking precum onto the mattress. He could cum like this in just minutes, overexcited and eager. “Ah- ah, f-fuck…

The inside of their mind is unknowable, unexplainable. It shouldn’t be possible for Holt to grab him from the inside, tugging at what might as well be their soul to force Jackson’s attention towards him. But Holt’s never been one to follow directions.

Jackson chokes as Holt pulls at him, sending his head spinning.  _ Fucking slut, you do what I tell you to alright? _

“Don’t  _ do  _ that!” Jackson curls into himself, overcome with nausea. “Oh god, I think I’m going to throw up-“

_ You’re fine.  _ Holt jabs at him.  _ Stop whining. _

Jackson just groans. “Shut up. I think you just gave me arrhythmia.”

Holt readies himself with a retort but trails off when Jackson sits up, grabbing the garish dildo and looking it over with wide eyes. It looked a lot larger in his hands now. He’s never had anything other than his own fingers inside of him before, maybe a pen or a highlighter that he then threw away out of shame, so this was very much out of his comfort zone.

Jackson swallows hard. “This- you’re not serious right?”

Holt’s glee sparks through him.  _ Course I am. You wanna go bigger? _

“I don’t know Holt…” Jackson says nervously. It wasn’t  _ huge _ by any means, but Jackson was inexperienced and he didn’t exactly have a partner to help him through this. But he was prepared and stretched and felt so empty… 

_ Give it a kiss for me first. _ Holt teases him again.

“I’m not going to-“

_ Kiss it. _

It’s not a request, and Jackson rolls his eyes. But he does kiss it, a quick peck to its sculpted head.

Holt hums in content, settling Jackson nerves with comfort. I  _ guess you can follow directions _ .

“I’ve been following your directions this entire time!” Jackson points at himself in the mirror, face red in embarrassment.

_ Yeah, and I’m not even there.  _ Holt laughs at him.  _ You really are a bottom bitch. _

“ _ Ugh  _ I hate you.” Jackson says through his teeth. There’s a footboard on the edge of the bed, just wide enough for Jackson to attach the suction cup base with a very plasticity sound. “This is- without a doubt- the  _ weirdest  _ thing I’ve ever done.”

Holt’s eager, and Jackson can feel his hitched breathing. He still doesn’t know why Holt’s making him do these humiliating things- but he’s had every opportunity to walk away now. Holt really couldn’t  _ make  _ him do anything, like he said he wasn’t even here. Jackson was choosing to go along with it because- he liked it? Wanted to reward Holt? … he just didn’t want to say no.

Jackson tucks his chin to his chest, blushing furiously as he feels the head of the silicone cock press against his ass. His legs were shaking- fuck, his whole body was shaking. But hiding was against the rules so he forces himself to meet his own gaze before slowly lowering himself onto the toy, breath hitching as he watches it disappear inside of him.  He moans quietly, chest heaving as he sinks down on the toy inch by inch. It feels impossibly big, like there’s no more room in his body for it to fit, but to his awe more and more of the fake cock sinks into his body easily. The stretch was incredible, much more than Jackson could ever get with his fingers alone, and it was hitting him so deep inside. 

_ You were made for this.  _ Holt whispers in his ears, sending heat spreading down his chest.  _ How do you feel? _

“Full.” Jackson moans. “Too much, I can’t-“

_ Liar. You needed this so bad.  _ Jackson focuses his eyes, vision blurry from his askew glasses, and has to take a long blink when he sees nothing but his own naked body sitting on the edge of the bed, completely impaled by the cock inside of him. “Oh my god.”

_ Tell me what you’re feeling, tell me everything.  _ Holt’s desperation rubs off on him and Jackson’s breathing hitches in turn. 

“I can feel it filling me up.” His voice is shaky. “I-It feels so good, so much better than my fingers- my heart's beating really fast, a-and I want to… I want to fuck myself on it so bad, feel it inside so deep...” He trails off, lost in looking at himself in the mirror. He almost doesn’t recognize the boy staring back at him because surely he wouldn’t look so wrecked, with his eyes glazed over and cock drooling on his lap. A thought strikes him and he can’t help but laugh, high and breathy. “Oh god, I’m going to have to thank you for this.” 

Holt’s lewd sense of pride fills his chest, leaving him breathless.  _ I know what you need Jackie boy. Don’t you feel so good, having a thick cock inside you? Legs wide open like a good whore, watching yourself and wishing or was a real cock inside you. _

Can I… can I start moving?” Jackson asks meekly. “I need to… god I want it to  _ wreck  _ me H-Holt.” He’s asking for permission, asking someone that isn’t even  _ there  _ but. He wants to be told what to do. Needs to be told what to do. Holt knows this, without him even having to say it. He’s in Jackson’s head, knows him inside and out.

_ Jackson… _ He feels Holt’s hesitation seeping through his bravado.  _ What would you do if I was there? _

“You are here.” Jackson whispers. Just sitting there is driving him crazy but he hasn’t been given permission yet, so he picks himself up a few inches off of the toy, small movements just to keep him occupied.

Holt’s annoyed.  _ You know what I mean. _

“Well I- I probably wouldn’t be doing this.” Jackson answers honestly, a small laugh in his voice. “This- this is humiliating enough already. I don't want to actually _do_ this-“

He’s not prepared for Holt’s wave of anger, taking over him so quickly his own hands clench white-knuckled at his sides.  _ It’s not like I’m forcing you! You were eager to spread your legs for me, fucking slut! You’re into this, you  _ **_want this_ ** _!  _

Jackson stops, fear closing around his heart. “I-I didn’t mean-“

Holt’s more than angry, he’s offended.  _ You can tell yourself all you want that this is my fault, but you know that you  _ **_need_ ** _ this Jackson. _

“I didn’t say that-“ He’s too late, Holt’s already retreated back into their head, completely quiet. “Holt? Holt!” Jackson stares at himself in the mirror. Takes a deep breath in and exhales in a long sigh. He knows what he has to do, but actually doing it was going to take away what little pride he had left. 

Jackson runs his hands up his chest, starting at his jutting hip bones and ending caressing the small curve of his pectorals. “If you were here… you’d be mean. I mean, you always are but you act up when you’re trying to put on a show.” His nipples are still sore, but pleasantly so. Jackson gasps out quietly as he flicks at the hard nub, the sharp pain going straight to his cock. That’s not enough though. He pinches his nipple hard, flinching at the feeling. “I-I don’t know why you like my chest so much, my t-tits.” Jackson chokes out the word. It does excite him when Holt says it, makes him feel even more like a whore. “But you’d play with them a lot.”

He feels Holt breach his consciousness, awake but just listening in. Jackson takes another deep breath, giving into Holt again.

“A-and I’d love it.” He admits breathlessly. “I love b-being humiliated and told what to do. I’m a s-slut and I need to be held down and fucked, I need to be put in my place.” Jackson licks his lips, nervously. “You’re right Holt, I do want this, I need it.” He flushes immediately, tucking his head down and shaking the tears from his eyes. “P-please tell me what to do.”

_ Touch yourself.  _ Holt’s voice is low and rough, sending thrills down Jackson's spine.  _ I’m there, I’m running my hands all over your body, feel my hands on your chest, your thighs... _

“You- your hands would be a lot warmer than mine.” Jackson’s voice is shaky but he pushes through the fear of humiliating himself, squeezing his eyes closed so no light comes through. It’s easier to touch himself that way, not having to watch his own wandering hands groping and molesting himself like a poor imitation of another person. “You’re greedy. You want everything, never able to keep your hands to yourself.”

_ Open your eyes Jackson.  _ Holt demands, but Jackson ignores him. Hands are all over his body, on his thighs and on his neck, lightly dragging his nails down his sides, just enough to leave marks. “You like to claim things. Keep them. I don’t know what you would do to me, if anything…” Jackson has to brace himself against the bed for a good angle to fuck himself, guiding his hips up and down the thick dildo Holt had picked out for him. “Would… would you burn me?”

Holt ignites inside their body, rocketing their temperature up. Jackson pants and wipes away the sweat beading on his brow, suddenly desperate for fresh air. “Oh wow, fuck…” 

_ Let me see you. _ Holt’s is raw, holding Jackson’s heart in his hand _. Show me. _

Jackson can't hear him, feeling completely out of his mind. He must be, indulging in this weird mental phone sex with his mirror self. It’s cruel of him to leave Holt on edge, he’s been his place more than once. Whoever was in the backseat at the time could feel the emotions, sensations, but had no way to take care of themselves. If Jackson wanted to edge himself for hours, he’d be forcing Holt along with him. 

Jackson’s fucking himself fully now, bouncing back down harder and harder to make sure he’s being fucked as deep as possible. The bed is creaking with his movements, headboard hammering against the wall. It’s horrifying and amazing at the same time, how easily Jackson’s lost himself in the feeling having his ass filled. And this is just some piece of plastic, Jackson can hardly imagine what it would feel like with a real cock splitting him open to use him.  All he can think of is Holt. Holt’s hands are on his chest and spreading his thighs, clawing at his ass and closing around his neck. “A-ah Holt, keep touching me, t-teasing me like that, you’re so mean-“

Holt had arranged this whole thing after all, gave Jackson all the pieces to let himself give in to desires he didn’t even know he had- but Holt always knew him better than he knew himself. Jackson wants to look at himself, debased and debauched as his is, but that would give Holt what he wants. “I’m sorry for being so wrong- I’m just a whore Holt, you’re right!”

Holt flares up in annoyance.  _ Open your fucking eyes. _

Jackson arches his back, hips thrusting in the air erratically as he let the silicone toy fuck him open, the only sound in the air his breathy moans and the slick slide of lube and flesh. “Y-you’re so mean, yelling at me… all I want to do is make myself cum on this thick blue cock-“

Holt finally breaks.  _ Okay fine, FINE please Jackson I’ll play nice, c’mon I got it for you you have to let me see it- _

Holt’s desperate pleas make him laugh quietly and Jackson rubs at his tired eyes. He opens his eyes slowly, feeling embarrassment flood through his veins. This was so much easier when he wasn’t looking himself straight in the face. He absolutely  _ wrecked _ . His arms and legs were trembling under the effort of keeping himself upright at such a weird angle, and his chest was rising and falling as if he’d just run a marathon. His face had to be distorted somehow because there’s no way he could ever look that whorish, lips spit-slick red and eyes full of desperation. Holt doesn’t speak up and Jackson catches his breath.

“What would you do…” Jackson pants out. “If you were here?”

Holt takes a beat to respond.

_ I just wanna hold you. _

Somehow that’s more embarrassing than all the dirty talk. The admission burns them up inside, sending heat throughout their entire being. Jackson wraps his arms around his body, hugging himself tightly. “I can’t give you that.” He says quietly, mourning in his voice. 

He’d like that too. To be held, to be cherished.

_ I know.  _ The melancholy in Holt’s voice is palpable, rattling Jackson to his core.  _ Let me be with you for this. _

Jackson knows what he means. “This is what you need.” He says quietly. “You need control. Exposing me like this, stripping me bare… literally.” He laughs softly.

_ Yes _ . Jackson’s eyelids flutter at the phantom feeling of lips on his neck.  _ Give into me Jackson. This is what we were made to be. _

“ _ Holt _ .” Jackson moans shakily between shallow breaths as he raises his hips up, letting himself fall down on the toy again and again. “Ah- fuck Holt, y-you feel so good…” 

_ Fuck you’re so hot Jackie, riding my cock like that.  _ Holt’s hot voice is in his ears, phantom hands holding his thighs open.  _ Wanted it so bad, right? _

“Y-yeah, I needed it Holt, needed you to fill me up. Use me. I feel so hot Holt, I’m burning up, you’re ruining me with your heat-“ Jackson watches himself in the mirror, focusing on the sight of the fake blue cock sinking into him over and over. It’s so easy to think it’s actually Holt, thick with blood and pulsing inside of him. “So much, so good, p- _ please _ .”

_ Please what? _ His phantom voice is low, raspy inside his head.  _ What do you need, baby? _

“I- I want to cum.” Jackson forces the words out. “I want to cum on your cock.”

_ Just a little bit longer _ . Holt doesn’t want to let go of him just yet. _ I wanna see you cry.  _

“God, do you like me or do you hate me?” Jackson’s half joking, half serious. 

Holt’s hesitation bleeds through to his own head.  _ I… I don’t know. _

Jackson nods his head sharply. “I feel the same.” 

Holt gathers himself, letting Jackson relax back into his body.  _ Does it even matter? Not like either of us can do anything about it.  _

Jackson groans in annoyance. “Can we talk about this when we’re not having weird mental phone sex?” Holt laughs at that, heat spreading through Jackson’s chest again.  _ You’re eager huh? Such a slut for me. _

“For you.” Jackson runs his fingers through his hair, pushing the sweat-slick strands out of his face. “I wouldn’t be doing this for anyone else.” And he honestly means it. Sure, Holt was a dick- rude, crude, conceited and all- but Holt was a part of him anyways.

Holt tenses, setting Jackson himself on edge.  _ I want you.  _ It’s a harsh admission, rattling both of them to their core.  _ So fuckin’ close, but still so far. Drives me crazy. _

Jackson bends his leg and balances with one foot on the footboard, taking a deep breath to steady himself. He can get a much better angle this way, as well as put on a better show. Jackson gives himself another look in the mirror and ignores his whorish pride at what he sees in his reflection. 

“Well, I am a genius.” Jackson smiles shyly. He had his legs spread open obscenely, untouched cock drooling almost nonstop on his lap. The flared base of Holt’s stand in cock was unmistakable blue against his flushed skin. “I could uh… start looking into that.”

He can feel Holt’s interest go up like a flash fire, unable to hide his excitement under his usual bravado.  _ Oh? _

“If you want me to.” Jackson says, nerves seeping in. He rocks back and forth to keep him from overthinking, letting the drag of the dildo in and out of his ass distract him. Separating- both had thought about it of course, but only ever like an far-fetched fantasy. But now there was  _ this _ , their mental relationship bleeding into a physical one. “You, ah… deserve a body Holt.”

He can feel Holt thinking it over, turning the idea of finally fully existing over in his head.  _ Even with my own, I still want control over yours.  _

That’s in no way romantic, but Jackson still giddily smiles and half hides behind his hand. “Only half of the time.” He lightly kisses his own wrist, right on the blue veins running under the thin skin. “Can I cum now, please?”

_ Alright baby, I guess you’ve earned it.  _ Jackson can practically hear Holt’s voice behind him, hot breath on his neck.  _ Watch yourself real close though, you need to see just how much of a whore you are.  _

Jackson gives his reflection a little wave. “Oh, I am well aware.” 

_I wanna bite your neck while I fuck you_ _from behind._ Holt’s voice is fake and low, sending shivers down Jackson’s spine. _Drag my nails down your chest, right over your fuckin’ perky tits._

Jackson takes Holt’s permission and runs with it, fucking himself hard and fast on Holt’s replacement and unashamedly moaning in pleasure. “Fuck yes, Holt- oh my god please,  _ please… _ ” His voice is shaky when he responds, stumbling over his own words. “I want, I want you to b-burn me a-and mark me up-“

_ Yeah, yeah I’ll fuckin’ ruin you- no one will want you when I’m done with you.  _ Holt promises him, voice heavy with lust. It should be scary, but Jackson’s chest blooms with sick delight anyways. He stares at himself as Holt whispers to him, rocking on the silicone cock like his life depends on it.

_ I’ll wrap my hands around that pretty little throat of yours Jackson, because you’re all mine.  _ Holt says desperately, his sanity slipping away. Jackson’s breath catches in his throat at his words, images rushing through his head. One of his arms had to be set behind him to hold up his weight, but his other hand just happened to be free.

Jackson raises a shaking hand to his throat, resting his trembling fingers on the pale column of his neck. He slowly presses his fingers into his carotid artery- not his windpipe. That was the safe way to do it, the right way. Holt probably wouldn’t care about safety, but Jacksons on wasn’t willing to risk the chance of passing out in some autoerotic asphyxiation experiment with the voice in his head.  It’s very light pressure, but Jackson’s heart flutters anyway as his breath is cut off under his own hand. No, it’s not his hand it’s Holt’s, and Holt’s hands are closing around his neck as Jackson rides him.  His reflection in the mirror is more than lewd, he looks downright  _ filthy _ . Holt’s right, he’s been absolutely ruined. Jackson tries to keep a rhythm- raising his hips and squeezing his throat, falling back down and taking a breath- and Holt is in his thoughts keeping time for him. 

_ Fucking slut.  _ Heat prickles the back of Jackson’s neck and he moans out obscenely.  _ You just do anything I tell you to. _

Jackson nods frantically, tears streaming down his cheeks at both the humiliation and asphyxiation. He can’t speak, so he’ll have to show Holt with his body. He’s been holding back for so long, kept on the edge between torturous pleasure and wonderful pain with the thick blue cock inside of him wrecking him so good but unable to cum without Holt’s permission. Because he  _ needs _ this, to be told what to do. Giving in to his secret, shameful desires under the guidance of his mirror self. 

_ What if I told you to cum right now, huh?  _ Holt teases him.  _ Think you could do it?  _

It’s not explicit permission, but he’ll take whatever he can get. Jackson closes his grip as tight as he can handle it and holds his own gaze as close as he can manage, shaky and tear-blurred as it is. He’s been completely undone by Holt, all from within his own head. If Holt was actually here… or, not if but  _ when _ .  All that escapes his mouth is a choked moan as he finally cums, long-overdue pleasure flooding through his body as he watches himself in the mirror. He needs to give Holt a good show, after all. His pleasure is Holt’s as well and Jackson feels the force of his orgasm twofold as Holt gasps with him, heat flooding throughout his entire body as they cum together

“Hhh-Holt-“

_ Fuck, Jackson- _

Jackson tries to look at himself as long as possible but the pleasure is all too much and he collapses back onto the bed, the dildos suction cup coming unstuck and going with him. He and Holt both catch their breath, panting in sync as they stare up at the ceiling. 

“... So.” Jackson’s voice is wrecked. “That uh…”

_ ….that happened.  _

“Yep.” Jackson pops the ‘p’. “Did that satisfy the uh, bet?”

_ Oh it satisfied a lot more then the _ _bet_. Holt chuckles.  _ But uh, yeah I think so.  _ Holt makes the noise of clearing his throat.

A beat to silence passes between them, both boys going over the heated events in their minds.

Holt speaks up first  _ ‘M sorry for- _

“No, no it was… it was good.” Jackson nods to himself. 

Holt makes a noncommittal noise.

...

_ Do you really think… you can make me a body?  _ Holt tries to sound nonchalant, but Jackson knows his nervous voice.

Jackson clicks his tongue. “It would take a lot of research and testing- no human test subjects, we know how  _ that  _ turned out but…” He shrugs. “Nothing’s impossible.” 

Holt’s glee soothes Jackson’s sore body and he lets out a relaxed sigh.  _ That would be so awesome! Do you really think you could do something like that? I mean, not that I have doubts about you, you’re amazing and all- _

Jackson laughs, elated at Holt’s excitement. “Do you want to bet on it?”

It’s Holt’s turn to be embarrassed now, a mirrored blush appearing on Jackson’s own face.  _ Depends… what’re your terms? _

Jackson pretends to think it over. “I think… I want you to…”

_ Yeah?  _ Holt eagerly hangs onto every word.  _ What do ya want me to do, baby? _

Jackson takes in a deep breath, keeping Holt waiting. “I want you to… study for once in your  _ goddamn  _ life Jesus Christ Holt I  _ know  _ you got Frankie to take that test for you or something there is no way in  _ hell _ -“

_ Oh we’re doing this? We’re doing this now? _

“Is there a better time?” Jackson gets up on his elbows, sitting up to look at himself in the mirror again. “Come on, tell me how you did it. You won, you can come clean now-“

_ I really did it! Listen Jackie, some people are just born with talent- _

“I’m not letting this go. I will interrogate every monster at that damn school Holt.”

_ You’ll never find where I hid my cheat sheet. _

_ “ _ You _monster-_ ”


End file.
